Viagra? Yes, even Viagra.

4-15-08; The 55 years old Somali gentlemen who I have been asked to evaluate by one of the CO’s (CO’s are clinical officers, similar to our PA’s) eyes me excitedly in the exam room of the outpatient clinic. “Why,” I wonder, waiting to see what story would unfold. This gentleman had travel three days to see a doctor. I don’t know how he ever heard of Kijabe Hospital. Word apparently gets out.

“When I’m sexy it burns,” Mohamed says.

I try to conceal my smile, thinking to myself that I often feel the same way when I’m sexy.

Controlling my emotions I ask, “When you say, 'I’m sexy,' what exactly do you mean?”

“When my wife and are together. You know… sexy,” he tells me as if I don’t know what sexy is.

I then ask, “When you say, 'it burns,' what exactly do you mean?”

Mohamed then points to what I expected, the source of all mans troubles, his groin. He says, “After 10 or 15 minutes of sexy, it really burns, like hot sauce.”

“What,” I think, “after 10 or 15 minutes of sexy. My goodness man, what are you complaining about? One should be so lucky.”

Never-the-less, I put aside my newly found resentment take his history, perform a physical and urinalysis and then I amaze myself by coming up with the pinpoint diagnosis of “urethritis” (hey it’s better than “syphi-gono-herpo-loma”)and subsequently prescribe him the appropriate medications.

I then open Pandoras box, if you will. I ask a question that all physicians cringe and hold their breath when asking, “Mohamed, is anything else I can help you with?”

Mohamed looks at the ground…looks at me…looks at the ground again and says, “When I’m sexy it’s weak. Like that.” He points to a limp flower stem.

Ah ha. Now I know what drives a man to travel three days to get treated.

Mohamed, “I don’t care what happens to the rest of my body, but this,” he points to his groin, “I care about.”

“Mohamed,” I think, “I understand. This is what brings all cultures, tribes and nations of men together.”

I prescribe to him what I never thought I would be prescribing on this trip… Viagra…They don’t teach this stuff in tropical medicine books.

Come to find out his daughter is married and lives in Columbus, Ohio. My home area. He and his wife are applying for a visa and will hopefully be moving there this summer. To the land of Viagra… and sexy…